i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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