wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
