I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
