would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
