I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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