I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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