I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
