Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
We got so high we made milksteak
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize