You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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