I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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