Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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