You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
