i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize