Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
