i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
