it's not cheating when I paid for it
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
