Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
