he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
