brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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