just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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