i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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