doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
