Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
