I wish you could order shots online.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
