I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
