forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
