I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize