yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
