I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
