I cut my penus on the lid.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
