Dual....:-)
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
