The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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