She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
