I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
