Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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