did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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