That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
