Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
If I die, sorry about rent.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
