The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
