No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
