im drinking this country out of the recession.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
