His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Randomize
