So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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