Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
