I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
