But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
