Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
