sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
