I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm always down for nudity.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
