please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
