well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
