I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
