I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
