My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
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