I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
