chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I enjoy the company of your penis
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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