Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize