i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
