A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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