he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize