a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize