I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
