Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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