shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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