just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
