Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
