doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
